We are Called...

**Quotes are the words of Catherine McAuley foundress of the Mercy Sisters**

I am called every day...literally. I receive hundreds of, what I refer to as, "calls of desperation" a week; people trying to find help and its not just for health care. I need help is the first words that I hear on the other end of the line. I have been called to show compassion, understanding, and to be a resource to the people of Detroit who are left with no where else to turn.

What this means is that we are called to behold one another, all that anyone really wants is to be recognized.

We are called to instruct the ignorant

"No work of charity is more productive of good than the education of youth"

We are called to shelter the homeless

"It is better to relieve a hundred imposters than to suffer one really distressed person to be sent away empty"

We are called to give drink to the thirsty

"the poor need help today, not next week"

We are called to feed the hungry

"God knows I would rather be cold and hungry, than the poor...should be deprived of any consolation in our power to give"

We are called to counsel the doubtful

"There are three things which the poor prize more highly than gold, though they cost the donor nothing; among these are the kind word, the gentle compassionate look, and the patent bearing of their sorrows"

We are called to comfort the afflicted

"The spirit of the Community is one of mercy toward the poor and afflicted in whom they shall see God himself"

We are called to bear wrongs patiently

"Mercy receives the ungrateful again and again and is never weary in pardoning"

We are called to forgive all injuries

"Pray fervently to take all bitterness from me, I can scarcely think of what has been done to me without resentment"

We are called to pray for the living and the dead

"Prayer will do more in solving our difficulties than all the money in the Bank of Ireland"

We are called as a community, as a nation, and as a global society to serve one another; to live in solidarity with the poor, afflicted, weary, the ones on the margins, the forgotten. For those who identify with a religion or a God you will not find Him in materials or money - He walks with the hungry, homeless, and the impoverished. This is where you will see Him in his purest form.

Have you been called yet?

Prayer for Kids who Lose Shoes, and Those Who Have None to Lose

Prayer for Kids who Lose Shoes, and Those Who Have None to Lose

We pray for Children

Who sneak popsicles before supper

Who erase holes in math notebooks

Who can never find their shoes

And we pray for those

Who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire fences

Who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers

Who never "counted potatoes"

Who were born in places we wouldn't be caught dead in

Who never saw a circus

Who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children

Who bring sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions.

Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

And we pray for those

Who never get dessert.

Who have no security blanket to drag behind them.

Who watch their parents watch them die.

Who can't find bread to steal.

Who don't have any rooms to clean.

Whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser.

Whose monsters are real.

We pray for children

Who spend all their allowance before Tuesday.

Who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food.

Who like ghost stories.

Who shove their dirty clothes under the bed and never rinse out the tub.

Who get visits from the tooth fairy.

Who don't like to get kissed in front of the car pool.

Who squirm in church and scream into the phone.

Whose tears are sometimes laughed at and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those

Whose nightmares come in the daytime.

Who will eat anything.

Who have never seen a dentist.

Who aren't spoiled by anybody.

Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep.

Who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children

Who want to be carried and those who must be.

For those we never give up on.

And for those who never get a second chance.

For those we smother.

And for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

Life Savers

How is Detroit? This is the most commonly asked question by friends and family back home. Unfortunately they receive the same answer..."Oh, good...you know its Detroit....its really routine". At those moments I feel lost in my experience here and what I am actually doing. So how is Detroit Siobhan? Well it is cold and for those of you who know me I HATE being cold so you can only imagine what my attire consists of already in to middle of October (yes, I have broken out the winter coat, hat, and gloves). Detroit is raw it doesn't conceal the everyday struggles of the people that inhabit this city. It is getting harder and harder for me to see the homeless sleeping outside in the dropping tempatures. I ask myself why? I ask myself how? And then I remember that we were not all made equal.

Detroit is a struggle. I am living a life of constant transition, being a recent graduate, single for the first time, without the love of my life Brewer, for the first time living more than an hour away from home. Living in transition is scary, uncomfortable, difficult, and most of all lonely. I have dealt my entire life with various complicated situations; that I avoided for years. In time I decided to face them head on and break down the walls of unhappiness and told myself that I was determined to find out what happiness felt like again. I cut into the darkness I was hiding underneath the smile and pushed through, but as most do I dropped out of the game too early. I decided I was okay, I had figured out my demons and could move on to bigger and better things; but I had so much more to learn.

How is Detroit? Its full of tears, realizations, spiritual moments, powerful thought, obessive thought, pills, hookah, work, co-worker drama, I at the top of my game, and then I find myself at the bottom being someone bitch. I am anrgy, anxious, happy, fine, numb, eager, breathing, mindless, confused, and simple exhausted. Detroit has unmasked deep rooted thoughts and behaviors that I was able to distract myself from back in Minnesota (Thanks Mom, Britt, Erin, Jen, and D).

We are told when applying to undergraduate institutions to go away - go somewhere you can truly find yourself. HA! CSBSJU introduced me into a world of last minute papers and Wednesday night Big Mugs - not a deeper understanding of myself. Who wants to go through this process anyway - its exhausting, it hurts, and its messy. But I begun to realize I have a choice either I take on this mess and walk through life a happier more understanding person or ignore it and let my own mind dominate and rule what I do and accomplish.

And then as I sit in my fish bowl like office and realize how wrapped up in my own thoughts I am. I see a spanish woman who has brought her daughter with her to translate so she can get the proper care. She must be so far away from her home. I see the lines on her face and what kind of story they tell. I believe they show the life of a woman who have face many unfortunate situations but was a strong woman who dealt and dealt and got by. She has been left on the margins without health care another life or death situation she has had to deal with. But here we are little Cabrini Clinic acting as an anti-aging lotion and preventing her from more tiresome facial lines. I see a man sleeping he has been here for hours because he does not have the $4 to pay for the low cost medications at Meijer. Deborah flips through a magazine with a toothless smile on her face that reflects comfort because this month she will have the medications that keep her alive. These are the people and the stories that keep me here that keep me fighting against all of my own life discomforts.

A patient came in today who is on the brink of living on the streets and whose blood sugar was dangerously low. He came is as a run down, worn out, poverty stricken man. When he walked out of our clinic he came up to my window and shook my hand. With that small gesture I was for a moment, connected to him I felt his struggle, his sorrow, but I looked into his eyes and smile and happiness just radiated from him. He finally had someone say "Yes, I will help you". My stuggles are small compared to what I see everyday, but I give thanks for the people that I meet and build relationships here with at Cabrini because in a way they are my life saver.

What I have Learned so Far

Life in Detroit so far has been a very interesting journey. I think the settling in stage is complete and my roommates and I have transitioned to actually living as residents of Detroit. At this point for me "living as a resident" revolves around working at Cabrini; however this will expand as the year progresses.

A day in the life of Siobhan three months ago, as a CSB senior, included large amounts of motivation to get myself to class, seven nights a week conducting a social life at Sal's establishment, experimenting with Arabic hookah methods, and trying to "complete" the majority of my homework assignments (it should be noted that I had my dog Brewer along with me for every moment which adds an interesting animal element).

Although there is a high probability I will refer to my senior year of college as my glory days, life as a MV has add a pinch of responsibility to my professional and social diet. I am to report to work at 10:30 am (which I have discovered is the perfect time for me to start my day). My alarm goes off at 9:00 am - I hope you are all sitting when you read this next section, I know its sounds unbelievable but its the truth (those of you who know me understand that hygienic and presentation was not a priority to me during college) - and SHOWER, blow dry my hair, put on make up, wear REAL clothes (no sweat pants and hat for me), and even have time left for breakfast. It's quite amazing I cannot lie I was worried myself that I would never be able to hold a real job because of my previous habits.

This is the big news - I walk to work - its hard to believe but I do it. After living across from campus last year and driving to school I felt it was time to review my beliefs in saving the environment and how I was going to put that into action.

If you did not already know I am the Administrative Assistant at St. Frances Cabrini Clinic. I have my own office that houses all of the medical records, my own desk, recycling station, computer, and pictures of all my loved ones back home. I am the first person you see when you walk into the clinic; which can be a good thing or a bad thing. I take on many faces as the Administrative Assistant at Cabrini. I collaborate mainly with Sr. Mary Ellen who seems to provide me with a new task nearly everyday. On Mondays and Fridays there is no clinic so this is when I work on projects such as institutionalizing the clinic. As of right now I am working on a "Vendor Book" which lists all of the companies that Cabrini uses to order supplies and service our medical and communication machines. At first I thought that this project would take me a week; I was misunderstood. There are a lot of vendors that keep our clinic running, Office Max, AllComm, heating/air conditioning and fifty other companies that I don't have time or the patience to list. I have accepted that this will be a work in progress for the entire time I am at the clinic.

Part of my orientation to the clinic was to meet the over 100 volunteers that keep our establishment in business and Sr. Mary Ellen came up with a very clever way for me to accomplish this task. I was given the contact information of all the volunteers and every time we have clinic I have to check in with each volunteer to make sure their contact information is correct (it hasn't been updated in a very long time). By doing this I have to introduce myself and am able to put faces to names. To be completely honest I don't think I could be in the presence of better people. All of the volunteers are absolutely wonderful and just good people to the core it is an honor to work with them.

Other upcoming projects that I will be involved in is writing concrete policies for the clinic and providing every member of staff with their own copy - to eliminate confusion and to better our consistency with patients. I am also Sr. Mary Ellen's right hand in the process of putting together our annual fundraiser, "Gathering of Friends". This fundraiser brings in half of the $260,000 it takes to run the clinic every year; last year they raised $96,000. I am excited to be apart of this project and to become familiar with the organizations and corporations that donate to such an amazing cause.

I would label those my two main projects as of right now however there are little day to day projects that I am working on as well. For example, Transformers 3 is filming across the road from Cabrini Clinic - yes my friends Patrick Dempsey will be across the road from me shooting a major action seen in the parking lot. I have been put in charge of writing an article about this event - they start filming after Labor Day I haven't decided what my strategy collecting information will be, however my ultimate goal is to meet the man himself "McDreamy".

Clinics are our obviously busy and more stressful days of the week. It has been a challenge as well to figure out how exactly is the most efficient way to run our clinic. Conducting a free clinic is not similar to conducting an insurance based clinic. Tuesdays and Thursdays are our medical clinics and they are walk-in only you cannot call in to register to see the doctor or to get refills you must get to the clinic during registration time. This is wear it gets messy, for example, Thursday we have two clinics registration for the afternoon clinic begins at noon however people start getting to the clinic around 10:30-11 and this presents a problem. If I sign in the patients as they arrive (which would be the easiest for me) by the time it reaches noon we have reached capacity of the patients we can serve at that clinic. On the other hand if I make them wait until noon there are 13 people in the waiting room and a very large line develops and this causes privacy issues when I am having the patients confirm their phone numbers and addresses (because of our patients income levels and general situations most of them move a lot and their numbers change frequently). On top of all of this there is the issue of who got their first and before who. What the patients don't understand is if they have a refill and were the first to register they are not going to be serviced first because the pharmacists have to fill their medications, meanwhile they are seeing other people being serviced who need to see the doctor. What they don't get is that those people who are going into see the doctor come out and have to wait for their meds and their medications are the last ones to be filled. It presents a big problem and a lot of animosity gets thrown my way. I have learned to present this general line to them "it doesn't matter what you are hear for the wait is going to be 2 to 3 hours". The clinic right now is considering implementing a refill only clinic which would eliminate the bottleneck the pharmacy becomes - it looks like a promising option however we will see if it is a lasting one. Besides the wait time I have established a number system to help alleviate the tension that accompanies registration. As the patients arrive at the clinic they receive a number, depending on the number of volunteers staffed gauges the number of patients we are able to see. Each doctor can handle around 15 patients so if there are 2 doctors on staff you would assume that we could service 30 patients. However, there is the pharmacy to think about because they have to fill all of the refills and the patients medications who have seen the doctors; our usual number is 25 patients per clinic. Hence, I have 25 numbers and when it is noon I start with number one if the person is not present when their number is called they must get a new number because I am not making the others wait or hunting them down. This provides a sense of privacy to each patient we serve. After I run out of numbers the clinic cannot serve anymore people. This is the hardest part of my job, turning people away from the health care they need. They come in with there empty pill bottle and beg for medication. Depending on how the clinic is flowing we can make some exceptions especially if we are dealing with a diabetic or someone with high blood pressure. However we cannot do this for everyone on a regular basis and it is the most heart wrenching part of the job.

In all honesty St. Frances Cabrini Clinic is all that our patients really have; especially for those who are homeless and simply have nothing. For example we had a male patient walk-in to the clinic to pick up his medications on a non clinic day. I let him in, asked him what he needed that day, and he could hardly get out through the tears that he was at the clinic to pick up refills. He had been in a domestic dispute with his wife and had no one to turn to expect the staff at the clinic.

We try to serve the homeless however they are very hard to follow up with because they usually don't have any contact information, are moving day to day, and do not have the proper transportation to get to the clinic. We live very close to the Greyhound Bus Station and because of that there is a large amount of homeless in our area. Every night I see at least six to ten homeless people out on the streets; I live six blocks away. There is a school located directly behind the clinic and there is an alcove where the back door is to the school and you can count on at least one if not 2 people sleeping there. Sr. Mary Ellen explained to me that they school had installed a light there to deter the homeless from sleeping there; because in the morning the children will be stepping over them to get into school. However, the homeless are a very persistent type of people and will go where ever they feel safe in order to make it through the night. The shelters are not safe in the city so many homeless will choose the street over a shelter a majority of them will live in the abandoned houses that line the city streets of Detroit. There are a lot of burned out houses though due to the homeless trying to keep warm by starting small fires in the home. Mary Ellen explained to me that their was an incident in Detroit where a house had caught fire and a body had been found. It was unidentifiable and there was no other identification on the body except for a Cabrini Clinic pill bottle that stated his name.

After hearing this story it really had an impact on what kind of role we play in the peoples lives that we serve; it's truly amazing.

Public Forums - Healthcare

Earlier this past week I was informed by the infamous Sister Mary Ellen (my site supervisor) that there was a Public Forum being held at the Cadillac Place which was appropriately titled "Attorney General's Community Forum on the Proposed Sale of the Detroit Medical Center (DMC) to Vangaurd Health Systems (VHS), Inc."

The DMC is an eight-hospital system that includes a number of other subsidaires and affliliates. The hospitals that are part of the DMC are: Children's Hospital of Michigan, Detroit Receiving Hospital, DMC Surgery Hospital, Haper University Hospital, Huron Valley-Sinai Hospital, Hutzel Women's Hospital, Sinai-Grace Hospital, University Labs. The entire system is non-profit/charitable business.

The Vangaurd strategy (pulled from their website) is to embrace the prinicples of a non-profit ran hospital and marry those principles with that of a for-profit business. Sensitive to a hospitals needs they collaborate with the current staff remain deticated to the community and invest in the hospital by providing resources and technology that improvethe overall care patients receive.

At this point in time the DMC is bankrupt. They do not have the finances to support themselves, but have the most deticated staff that I have ever come across. They are working with equipment that is so out of date that the parts no longer exits when a machine breaks. DMC is desperate and in desperate times comes desperate measure. After attending this forum it was made clear to me that the DMC is basically give handing itself over to Vanguard for free. Vanguard is going to take the DMC and invest 1.5 billion dollars into the hospitals there however the DMC will not be making the desicions with that investment VHS will and they will be investing in their own asset; Detroit and its citizens are not receiving anything for the superb system it has built; based on non-profit and charitable values. The Attorney General's Office informed the forum that the DMC had not even been priced out. They are making it seem that there is no other option than VHS but the fact is that DMC Administration has not explored other options; another flaw is that the DMC is ran by lawyers who have no idea how to manage healthcare.

Some of the Key Terms of the proposed sale are as follows:
DMC will receive
- relief from outstanding bond debt ($417,000,000)
- '' '' net pension liability ($190,000,000)
- Expansion to the DMC Hospitals adding up to $850,000,000
- VHS promise to maintain each hospital as a licensed acute care or rehabilitation hospital
- VHS promise to meet or exceed DMC's existing charity care policy
- VHS promise to provide the following essential core services for a minimum of 10 yrs at one or more hospitals: Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, Obstetrics, Emergency Deptarmental Services, Trauma-Designated Emergency Deptarment, Intensive Care Services General Medical Services.
VHS will receive
- will acquire substantially all assests held by DMC and its subsidairies, including all DMC hospitals and the DMC name.
DMC will retain
- will continue as a charitable Michigan nonprofit corporation and will retain control of charitable funds that are subject to restrictions imposed by donors of about $140,000,000. These funds will be safeguarded for their intended charitable uses.

This is the cliff note version of the FAQ's sheet that was handed out to us at the forum. So now you have an overview of both the DMC, VHS, and what the sale proposal is I would like to share with you how the community responded at the forum.

Margie Mitchell of MiUCAN: She had three main points "1) the mission of a nonprofit company is to give back and limit its profits. If we are to except this agreement Blackstone the hedgefund of VHS will act as a vaccum and suck all of the money out of DMC and send it to Wall Street. 2) Who will have the power to make decisions? Instead of the power remaining in Detroit, it will transfer to Tennessee and there they will have a Regional Manager make the decisions for the DMC. This presents a problem because when the power remains in local hands the appropriate and understood decisions can be made. What sort of proper decision making can you do from TN? 3) VHS limited commitment to keeping the DMC a charitable company. After 10 yrs will the keep delivering affordable services that the people of Detroit desperately need.

Dr. Reggie St. Xavier of DMC: "We are a struggling system, struggling simply to breath, to provide for our patients. This is the worst position we have ever been in and VHS is our answer".

John Trivia Nurse Union: "The DMC has provided a safety net for over 1,000 of Detroits citizens and by giving our hospitals up the VHS we are putting the desperately needed net at risk. In a forprofit atmosphere the patient never comes first the share holders do".

Sharon Madison: "This sale will primarily employ detroiters and we need to consider the fact that this is a big deal and here in Detroit we deserve to be a big deal".

What was interesting to me is that this room was filled with three piece suit businessmen who all made a significant amount of money and have the means to pay the premiums and deductables of the health insurance that is offered to them. Out of all of those people in the room there were only 2 women their to represent the actual citizens of Detroit that benefit from the nonprofit system. These women represented the proverty stricken working class of Detroit who have no insurance. It made me sick to my stomach when they approached the mic and their main concern was that they did not understand this transaction and what it would mean to them. But isn't that how it goes to keep the decisions at the top and not let the actual people who will benefit or struggle in the unknown so you can stay at the top. My question is how much Mr. Duggan (DMC CEO) will be making after this sale and where he will land. They both asked for the forum to be advertised to the people of the city in free newspapers and on non cable channels.

The two people that had the most effect on me was Sister Mary Ellen's address and a man who laid out the simplicity of a forprofit -> first reduce wages, second reduce services, third increase charges, fourth externalize cost (eliminate the taxes and put those costs on the citizens), fifth the profits don't remain in the city they are shipped to TN to the hedge fund.

Sister Mary Ellen: "The DMC is a Detroit community asset, a nonprofit health care system whose mission is to serve the community. it is governed by a local board whose responsibility is to guard that asset for the community. Hence, I find it incredible that Mr. Duggan and the board are considering handing over this community resource to a for profit corporation. VHS, whose corporate offices are located in Nashville, TN.

My understanding is that the community will not receive any payment from VHS. This is highly unusual. When most nonprofit corporations convert to for profit use, their value is transferred to another entity, such as a foundation, which carries out the charitable purpose for which the original corporation was founded. VHS is doing nothing like this for the city of Detroit. Instead VHS promises to invest $800 million in the DMC which they will own.

The DMC is the closest thine have to a public hospital in Detroit. It is where those who are poor and uninsured turn for care. Will this mission continue under VHS? They have made a ten-year commitment, but will they own the DMC for ten years? We don't know,and we have no guarantees. With no local government board, how will the community hold VHS accountable for all the promises they have made?

Let's be honest. VHS is a for profit corporation whose primary purpose is to maximize return to its owner which is the Blackstone Group, the world's largest buyout firm. What will happen when the interests of this for profit corporation conflict with the well-being of DMC patients, staff, and the surrounding community? Will vital, but unprofitable services such as OB and ER be discontinued in order to pay larger dividends? Or will they put people before profits? I doubt it very much.

On a deeper level, the VHS/DMC issue is yet another example of a dangerous trend in our country and throughout the world today. More and more, we are seeing public goods turned into private commodities, access to which depends on one's ability to pay. This push to privatization has had a devastating impact on access to vital services such as water, education, and housing, as well as health care.

What is at stake here is nothing less than our humanity. When health care is looked upon as just another commodity to be bought and sold in the marketplace, priorities become skewed and people suffer. We only have to think of the millions in our country who do not have access to adequate health care, especially unprofitable primary care and preventive services.

We desperately need to recover a sense of the common good. We are living in a world that puts a price on everything and values nothing - where everything is for sale to the highest bidder, including the DMC. I don't want to see this happen to health care in Detroit".

After the forum I had not decided if I was for or against this sale. It seemed to me that what Vanguard had to offer was ideal they were going to save this health system. However, I was challenged to look deeper into the ethics and consequences of this sale. What will happen in a year will the VHS sell the DMC to another bidder in a year, will they come through with their so called promises, are we making the right decision? I am still conflicted with this issue and want to trust that the VHS has Detroit's best interests in mind, but they are a corporation practicing similar tactics to the Real Estate business buy up the cheap and desperate and do with what they desire after they have full control.

Mary Ellen had posted about the forum on her facebook wall and got a response from a pharmacist in Phoenix, "I am very familiar with some Vanguard owned hospitals in Phoenix and they DO operate like a for profit in every sense of the word. From what I've seen here they are light years behind what the DMC already has in technology so their "technology" will likely be a step back and involve layoffs".

This response definitely pushed me in one direction however I would like to know your comments and concerns about going from nonprofit to for profit. It is a never ending battle in the health care field and it is un-nerving that health care, which I believe is a basic human right, has become a political football.

This is my LIFE

Thursday - Cabrini Clinic

7:00 am I wake up to Rocket Man after a night of tossing and turning due partly to the excitement of my first day of work and the other to a bad mattress. I was up and in the shower by 7:30 read to leave by 20 to 9:00am. The clinic is only 5 blocks from my house and if you don't already know what I have committed to as a MVC, I committed to a life of "simple living". Hence, if I am to practice simple living it is only logical to walk to work. However, if any of you know me at all you know that I don't like to walk. Hell, I lived across the street from my college campus and I would still drive. So, far I have not been tempted to drive to work but we will see how the next couple of weeks go.

I don't know if I have mentioned the heat and humidity that is experienced here in Detroit, MI but it is HOT and STICKY. I thought I had it bad in MN, no no no no, I was spoiled there it is simply miserable here and part of simple living is no AC - I really like it here, I really like it here... (I have to keep telling myself this, especially when I am sweating like a pig). The one good thing is that Cabrini has AC and most of my time will be spent there. I arrived at the clinic 9:00 am to meet with Teresa the social worker to get trained in. The most important part of my training today was becoming familiar with the registration process of the patients. Part of it is done on the computer where I enter the patients name, why they have come to the clinic, and if any of there information has changed. Then I go and grab their chart off the shelf and either stamp it for the doctor or put the date and bring it back to the pharmacy for a refill. I have to be careful though and make sure that all the files stay in the order the patients came in the clinic, because it is all first come first serve.

Thursdays there are 2 clinics the afternoon clinic is from 1-5 and the evening clinic is from 5-8. Registration is from noon - 1 and then again from 5-6. However people start coming into the clinic to register at least 2 hrs before hand. For the first clinic we served 32 patients which was a lot; we had a nurse practitioner called in sick. We took in 4 new patients which is also a lot in one day. One of the new patients came in with leukemia and had not seen the doctor in three months. All she wanted to know is what stage she was in and to leave everything up to Jesus. Some would say that she has a great deal of magical thinking however in our Mercy Orientation they warned us that we would truly see God in the poor. They put everything in His hands because they have nothing else; they get out of bed for God. It was inspiring and saddening at the same time. There was another man that was homeless that came into our clinic for the first time. This is my first encounter with a homeless person face to face. I have not been exposed to this population and it made me think twice about the things that I have and how blessed I am to be where I am today.

From 10:30 to 1:00 the clinic was buzzing on my end of care. I was runnin charts all over the place getting the proper info from people and updating info all at the same time. My first registration went really well I had everyone in order with the proper stamp. It doesn't seem like I am doing much but it was very exciting. At the end of my day I was cleaning up and looking for the recycling, but didn't find any. So I approached Sister Mary Ellen and found out that the clinic doesn't recycle and that the entire city of Detroit. I was shocked. I decided to undertake the job of helping the clinic to become greener. Out side of just the clinic I have made some contacts and am looking into helping Detroit start a recycling program.

After work my community and I went out on a tour of Detroit with our support person Mike. Mike showed us the rest of the city that we haven't seen (I'm sure Sister Mary Claire would disagree with the previous statement). After our quick tour Mike took us to a great Mexican restaurant that was pretty inexpensive. We had a great meal and conversation learning about Mike and his family and exchanging stories of our experience and lives. Mike and I started talking about his career with the juveniles of Detroit. I shared my experience with Alvin and his path to juvenile court and expressed my interest in the field. What developed out of our conversation is the potential of me leading an after school group session once a week. I am not sure what that all entails but I am excited about it.

Friday Clinic Organization -

Fridays are catch up days and preparing for the next week. I need to refile all of the charts that were pulled for Thursday's clinic. It was a fairly slow day until Teresa showed me the three large tall cabinets full of the most random items I have ever seen. I was given the exciting job of organizing all of the cabinets. I felt as if I was back in the Poli Sci/Soci Department filing all the 50 or so applications for the sociology professorship that the department hired at the end of last semester; that was a crazy mess believe me. I was able to make some head way on 2 shelves of one cabinet so I have a long road ahead of me.

Friday night the roomies and I were able to catch some down time to hang out together. We played the game of life MVC version which presents a volunteer path option. It was really fun and good to just hang out together.

Saturday - Starting with Church; Ending with Freakshow

Saturday morning we were headed out to Farmington Hills for the Sisters of Mercy Jubilee Celebration. This event recognizes sisters that have been a Sister of Mercy for 25 yrs (silver), 50 yrs (golden), 60 yrs (diamond), and 70 yrs (diamond). There was even a Sister that was celebrating her 80th year of being a Sister of Mercy. This celebration reminded me of my gerontology class where we read a book based on the nuns and alzheimers. I felt that these nuns held a lot of the same qualities the nuns in Dr. Snowdons study did. If you would like to learn more about this study click on this link
http://www.mc.uky.edu/nunnet/

It was Sister Mary Ellen's (my supervisor at Cabrini) 50th Jubilee celebration and all of my community and myself went out to support her along with other Sisters we have met throughout the last 2 weeks. After the 11:00 am mass we had lunch with Sister Mary Ellen and her family and friends it was a great food and conversation however we didn't stay long because our day was full of different events.

D.O.T.S - Dancin on the Street

We went to a local art festival that is called the Heidelberg Project. This project revolves around abandon houses in Detroit (which there is a large amount of) and turning them into works of art. For more info click on this link http://www.heidelberg.org/
The pictures explain themselves After experiencing D.O.T.S we headed home and crashed for the next 3 hours. With the combination of bad matresses, all of the parties we have been invited to, and the miserable hot weather we were basically walking zombies. Around 8 we awoke from our slumbers had dinner and were out to the next event, called the "Bizarre Bizarre". The first thin I saw as we walked into the venue was a women hanging from her piercing. She had two on her thighs two from her back making it look like she was sitting in the air; it was crazy. The rest of the night I was surrounded by local artists advertising, exposing, and selling their art. However there was a very dark undertone to this type of art; it had a very underground feel. We saw live graffiti being done a sweet fashion show done by one of my roommates co-workers, and freak show paintings that included "Margot the Maggot Girl". It was a great experience in doses and I am always up for new things so I definately enjoyed myself.

100,000 Welcomes

Today was a vital day for the MVCs of Detroit. Today we went to each of our sites to learn and see what our fellow community members will be doing throughout the year. Our first stop was Cristo Rey. This private catholic school was opened three years ago to the underprivledged youth of Detroit. Most of Cristo Rey's students receive free tution from scholarships and grants; the most any student pays a year is $500.00. It is important to note that any student whose parents make over 4,000 dollars a year are not eligible to attend Cristo Rey. We met with Leon Dixon the Dean of Students and an activist in the community. He has no background in education and was actually a business man. However, he saw a need when he would have young adults coming to him for jobs. The youth of the community seemed to not have a grasp on how to present themselves in a professional manner when it came to dress, communication, presentation, and writing skills. One of the special parts to Cristo Rey is that they really focus on training their students to be professionals. There are classes and seminars on how to answer the phone to how to prepare a proper resume. One issue that really had an impact on me was how little the students knew when it came to subjects that I assumed to be common sense. For example, a uniform policy was put in place last year because the students did not understand what it meant to wear business casual. Leon described how one girl wore an evening gown to school one day. So he made it a point to enforce a school uniform policy which also helps with the anger and violence between the females in the school. This was another interesting topic that came up in conversation. Leon described every girl that is born and raised in Detroit have serious anger issues and the more attractive you are the more you become a target of that anger. He said that it wasn't an ethnic, racial, or demographic issue it was simply that the majority of women in Detroit have anger issues. This is intersting to me because of my academic background in sociology and I wonder what social structures, norms, and mores, of the Detorit area brings about this anger. Leon really fed us a lot of information about the school and students. He explained to us that there was a significant portion of students at the high school that are second generation crack and heroine children. Which was shocking to me but at the same time it was a reality that I have had to deal with through my work with Alvin who was also exposed fetally to drugs and alcohol. Last but not least, Leon touched briefly on immigration in the city of Detroit and what schocked me the most is that statistically there is more illegal immigrants coming from Canada to America than the South Border; he actually was bold enough to state that their are three times more illegal immagrants coming to Detroit than the south border. The majority of them are Chinese and Albanias; Detroit is a safe haven for immigrants however the authorities ignore this safe haven and do a huge search in the fall. What was so great about Leon and the staff at Cristo Rey is their willingness to welcome not just there MV but myself and my other community member as well. It was made very clear that if we had any issues or wanted to get involved in anyway that Leon would hook us up and if he wasn't able too than he would find someone could. It was the beginning of my realization that I was not just part of this community but I was building an extended family.

Believe it or not our entire time spent was Leon only lasted an hour. Next we were on our way to my site, the Cabrini Clinic. The clinic was developed in 1834, when Most Holy Trinity Catholic Church transformed its new chrch building into a medical facility for victims of Detroit's cholera epidemic, it began a long tradition of tending to the nedical needs of southwest Detroit's poor. 100 years later, in 1950, Pastor Father Clement Kern had a mission, meeting the needs of the Corktown neighborhood residents who were the poorest of the poor. Because many were new immigrants in need of basic medical care, he established a free clinic, naming it in honor of Mother Frances Cabrini, the patron sein of immigrants. It is estimated that in Detroit today, 270,000 are uninsured or enrolledin Medicaid. 59% of Detroit's population has income below 200% of the poverty level. Detroit ranks #1 amough 687 USA cities for preventable/avoidable hospitalizations for the population aged 40-64. Detroiters fare much wores in health staus measure than the rest of the state or the nation, including for cancers, asthma, infant mortality, and HIV. The populatin the clinic serves is uninsured adults ages from 18-64, 50% of the patients are African American, 40% are Hispanic, and the balance is Caucasian. The most common diagnosis are hypertension, diabetes, and depression. The Cabrini Clinic receives no goverment funding and operates on a budget of $260,000 a year; which is secured through fundraising. I will be working M-F 10:30 - 5 or 8. Its hours just depend on what is going on at the clinic that week and so on. This non-profit organization hold 3 medical clinics, 1 mental health clinic (which is the only free mental health clinic in Detroit), diabetic education classes, prescription assistance, foot clinic, and eye care. One of the main functions of the clinic is getting the marginalized in the city their medications. Most of them have already seen a doctor but they need the clinic in order to get their medications; which are completely free.

Getting down to the real stuff my job description:
Position Summary - the mercy corps volunteer is a full-time positon, reporting to the Exectuive Director of Carini Clinic. The volunteer coordinates activites with other clinic staff and volunteers. Hours vary by day of the week, according to the hours of patient services.
Duties and Responsibilites -
1) is responsible for the front desk function
2) oversees medical records function, preparing charts for new patients and maintaining and filling curren charts.
3) Assists with preparation and writing of articles for the clinic newletter, Cabrini collector.
4) Maintains the patient registration database.
5)Develops tools and programs to facilitate the work of the clinic
6)Organizes community outreach activites, including recruiting volunteers, organizing and advertising events
7)Participates in community forums and evetns related to the uninsured.

This is the gist of my job and what I will be doing at the Cabrini Clinic, we did not get as much information about the city out of Sister Mary Ellen (my supervisor) but I have no doubt that she will provide me with many good stories to share with you. Side note: As I walked into the clinic I already felt as if I belonged there and everytime I meet with a sister or community member I am invited to some type of party or event today I received an invitation to and Irish party with the clinic.

Last but NOT least our community made its way to Matrix Theater; which is a theater that does production on social justice. They operate out of a black box theater that sits around 30. One of their main attractions are their giant puppets which appear all over the city in parades and other social justice events. Again the feeling of welcome and adding to our extended Detroit family was felt as the theater the same it was at the two previous sites.

Our last adventure of the day was a birthday party for Samantha one of our social services speakers adopted daughters; she was turning 13. But unknown to us it was also Samantha's grandfathers birthday, and Samantha's brother Josh's going away party for college. It was an amazing experience partly because as the party was coming to a close some speeches were about family and how we wouldn't be here without anyone at this party and Janet and Josh drew special attention to us as Mercy Volunteers and Marty a man that I had literally met an hour ago said that we were just here to do work and be involved as a community member that we were here building an extended family and that they were now part of our family. The feelings and emotions that hit me at that moment were intense, warm, and big. I couldn't feel more welcome so when I say I have experience 100,000 welcomes in the span of three days I mean that.

Making a Deeper Connection

My time in Detroit has been interesting so far. I live in a row house that is not equipped with air conditioning; so we have fans that just blow the hot air around. It has been unbearably humid since I landed here in Michigan which creates a fairly uncomfortable environment. The humid aside I have had an amazing first week here in Detroit.

It is important to me to explain why I am here volunteering for the Mercy Corps as a proclaimed atheist. I went to a public school where I had practiced secular academics and did not have proper training in theology (academically at least). However, I did attend Church regularly. My parents where originally ELCA Lutherans but the little town of Parkers Prairie did not have an ELCA branch. After a couple of years of settling our family in my parents decided that the most logical decision when it came to bringing up their children in a christian home was to become members of the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. This is where I was educated in terms of the christian faith, its rules, and its religion. I grasped onto my christian faith as a very young child and had a great sense of spirituality and connect with "God". I was in the top 3 in my confirmation class and took great pride in this accomplishment. However, after I was confirmed I was not forced to go to church with my family on a regular basis. As a result of this I slowly lost/forgot about my religion.

I was accepted into the College of Saint Benedict in 2006 and took my first CORE theology class my spring semester as a first year (2007). It was an eye opening experience for me that unfortunately brought about a lot of confusion and anger. I found out what the bible really was a book of metaphorical truths, the old testament being a book of laws, and so on. I felt that I was taught to take the bible literally. I was also told at my church that the Jewish Senator Paul Wellstone was damned to hell because he was not a christian. On top of that I was told if where to take communion with other Lutherans other than Missouri Synod I would be judged for that come judgement day. I felt cheated by my church and the clergy within it. I decided that the christian religion was a crock and wanted nothing to do with it. As my time went by and I took more and more classes I decided to identify as an atheist. It is really the only thing that makes sense to me and I have accepted the concept of there not being an afterlife. After all of this is unveiling of the christian religion I still was not completely satisfied within myself.

You might be wondering why the hell did I attend a Catholic school and to further my future with another Catholic program. I have found that CSB is one of the most liberal and accepting Catholic schools I could have attended. For example I was more than impressed that our Catholic school recognized the traditions of Ramadan. The Benedictine Values also resonate deeply within me and in my opinion if everyone lived by those values no matter your faith, race, ethnicity, or belief this world would be a more peaceful place. There was something that drew me in to this school and its values and community and I wanted to recreate that sort of lifestyle after I graduated.

The Mercy Volunteer Corps was not my first choice at all, I did not even know it existed until April 2010. I had applied to a dozen different places and was rejected by each, the Mercy Corps was my last shot at a year of service and I was really indifferent about the program. I don't think I could have had an opinion about this program without experiencing it first hand. I was scared and unsure about moving to Detroit but the minute I let go of my fears and stepped of the shuttle to a line of Mercy sisters and staff to give each and everyone of us a hug, I knew I was in the right place. And everyday since than has been a confirmation about how good of a choice this was for where I am mentally, physically, and emotionally in my life right now.

One of the requirements for MVC is to have at least one spirituality night a week. During orientation we learned many different ways of expressing and practicing our spirituality. It was so amazing to hear how the sisters have connections and relationships with the jewish community, the buddist, and other religious communities that are not christian. It was something that made more sense to me than damning everyone but christians to hell.

My community held our first spirituality night last night, Danielle had thought that it would be a good idea to make a timeline of ourlives and what events and people brought us to where we are today. It was a surprisingly very spiritual activity to look back over my life and cherish and relive the relationships and events that have brought me here today and to realize how thankful I am for all the good and the bad times. The three of us ended up talking about our experiences, families, relationships, and friendships for four hours. It was an amazing experience, and I have found what spirituality is to me is a reflective practice that has intention and meaning. I encourage all of you who have decided to take the time to read this blog to do some reflective practice as well. My goal in the practice of spirituality is to "be still" to let go of all my dates, deadlines, conflicts, wants, and needs and just be still within myself. Through this I hope to gain a greater clarity of myself and my surroundings.

-- Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. You are what obersves, not what you observe. --
Buddha

Leaving MN...Hello to MI

I have spent the last two months preparing for the next year of my life as a Mercy Volunteer. I was accepted in the the corps at the beginning of June and given my placement and departure date shortly after that. At this point in my life I am a recent graduate from the College of Saint Benedict/Saint John's University where I spent four of the most formative years of my life. I met the women and men who I will carry with me for the rest of my life. After graduating it was a difficult transition from the chaotic life of a college student to an alumni who would be leaving for the next year to give her time in the name of Mercy.

Besides struggling with the idea of letting go of the security that CSB/SJU provided for me I also was dealing with the fact that I had to leave behind my family, friends, and especially my dog Brewer.

This past summer I continued my work with children that have developmental disablities in South Minneapolis. I became close with the family that I was working for/with extended their hand and home to me by taking on the responsibilities of Brewer for the year. I could not be more thankful for their generosity however, I still had a difficult time accepting the idea that "my man" would not be at my side and part of my team for the next year. However, I knew that this was an opportunity of a life time and needed to leave him behind in order to move forward with my life.

In the last week of MN, I was able to say my proper goodbyes to the people and things that are most important to me. I found myself in Lindbergh terminal boarding my flight and waving goodbye to my mother. Which I found to be one of the hardest things I had to do. I will never forget her face when she began to tear up as her first and oldest daughter boarded a plane to take the next step in her life towards a more well rounded life.

I stepped off the plane in Detroit, MI around 3:00 pm where I met my first fellow MVC member. Brynn from Jersey Shore approached me outside of the airport...from that point on I referred to her and coined her has Jersey (she bleeds Jersey). Soon after I befriended Bonnie Brynn I was thrown into a situation with 24 other strangers that were also in the same volunteer process as I was.

I spent the next week working on the concepts of community, spirituality, sites of service, cross-cultural, and simple living. Then at the end of the day these 25 people would gather into the kitchen and immerse ourselves into each others lives. It was an amazing experience that I am looking forward to developing throughout the year. The part that I most took from the orientation experience is that as an atheist I have started to tap back into my spiritualitly which I look forward to grow in.

Today August 8th I moved into my new place in Corktown, Detroit. It has been the most welcoming experience I have ever seen. The sisters of Mercy have been nothing but giving to the volunteers here and the community of Corktown has opened up their hearts and minds to our presence and mission. I know this is a very summed up blog however I hope to be more specific and detailed in my future blogs.

Thanks for reading...