My time in Detroit has been interesting so far. I live in a row house that is not equipped with air conditioning; so we have fans that just blow the hot air around. It has been unbearably humid since I landed here in Michigan which creates a fairly uncomfortable environment. The humid aside I have had an amazing first week here in Detroit.
It is important to me to explain why I am here volunteering for the Mercy Corps as a proclaimed atheist. I went to a public school where I had practiced secular academics and did not have proper training in theology (academically at least). However, I did attend Church regularly. My parents where originally ELCA Lutherans but the little town of Parkers Prairie did not have an ELCA branch. After a couple of years of settling our family in my parents decided that the most logical decision when it came to bringing up their children in a christian home was to become members of the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. This is where I was educated in terms of the christian faith, its rules, and its religion. I grasped onto my christian faith as a very young child and had a great sense of spirituality and connect with "God". I was in the top 3 in my confirmation class and took great pride in this accomplishment. However, after I was confirmed I was not forced to go to church with my family on a regular basis. As a result of this I slowly lost/forgot about my religion.
I was accepted into the College of Saint Benedict in 2006 and took my first CORE theology class my spring semester as a first year (2007). It was an eye opening experience for me that unfortunately brought about a lot of confusion and anger. I found out what the bible really was a book of metaphorical truths, the old testament being a book of laws, and so on. I felt that I was taught to take the bible literally. I was also told at my church that the Jewish Senator Paul Wellstone was damned to hell because he was not a christian. On top of that I was told if where to take communion with other Lutherans other than Missouri Synod I would be judged for that come judgement day. I felt cheated by my church and the clergy within it. I decided that the christian religion was a crock and wanted nothing to do with it. As my time went by and I took more and more classes I decided to identify as an atheist. It is really the only thing that makes sense to me and I have accepted the concept of there not being an afterlife. After all of this is unveiling of the christian religion I still was not completely satisfied within myself.
You might be wondering why the hell did I attend a Catholic school and to further my future with another Catholic program. I have found that CSB is one of the most liberal and accepting Catholic schools I could have attended. For example I was more than impressed that our Catholic school recognized the traditions of Ramadan. The Benedictine Values also resonate deeply within me and in my opinion if everyone lived by those values no matter your faith, race, ethnicity, or belief this world would be a more peaceful place. There was something that drew me in to this school and its values and community and I wanted to recreate that sort of lifestyle after I graduated.
The Mercy Volunteer Corps was not my first choice at all, I did not even know it existed until April 2010. I had applied to a dozen different places and was rejected by each, the Mercy Corps was my last shot at a year of service and I was really indifferent about the program. I don't think I could have had an opinion about this program without experiencing it first hand. I was scared and unsure about moving to Detroit but the minute I let go of my fears and stepped of the shuttle to a line of Mercy sisters and staff to give each and everyone of us a hug, I knew I was in the right place. And everyday since than has been a confirmation about how good of a choice this was for where I am mentally, physically, and emotionally in my life right now.
One of the requirements for MVC is to have at least one spirituality night a week. During orientation we learned many different ways of expressing and practicing our spirituality. It was so amazing to hear how the sisters have connections and relationships with the jewish community, the buddist, and other religious communities that are not christian. It was something that made more sense to me than damning everyone but christians to hell.
My community held our first spirituality night last night, Danielle had thought that it would be a good idea to make a timeline of ourlives and what events and people brought us to where we are today. It was a surprisingly very spiritual activity to look back over my life and cherish and relive the relationships and events that have brought me here today and to realize how thankful I am for all the good and the bad times. The three of us ended up talking about our experiences, families, relationships, and friendships for four hours. It was an amazing experience, and I have found what spirituality is to me is a reflective practice that has intention and meaning. I encourage all of you who have decided to take the time to read this blog to do some reflective practice as well. My goal in the practice of spirituality is to "be still" to let go of all my dates, deadlines, conflicts, wants, and needs and just be still within myself. Through this I hope to gain a greater clarity of myself and my surroundings.
-- Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. You are what obersves, not what you observe. --
Buddha
As of the first of August 2010 I became a member of the Mercy Volunteer Corps. The goal of this program is to enter into relationship with people who are economically poor and marginalized. In a spirit of mutuality, volunteers cultivate mercy and justice in the world by embracing compassionate service, social justice, spirituality and a simple lifestyle in community. During the next year I will be serving at the Cabrini Clinic who serve 1500 of Detroit's 200,000 uninsured adults.
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